Listed below are six areas to explore in your own history. After you explore them on your own, I would strongly suggest forming a small group of three to four peers and working again through these questions with the input of others.
Love. How did you experience love as a child? How were you celebrated apart from accomplishments, grades and achievements? How was loved expressed to you from birth to age eighteen?
Drivenness. Where is your compulsiveness rooted in your story? How did your father , mother and principal caregivers demonstrate how a person works and works well? Do you think your peers consider you to be a driven person?
Pride. Do you think there is a chance people view you as selfish? If so, have you traced these tendencies back to find their genesis? In your family of origin, how was love given and demonstrated?
Fear. Do you consider yourself a fearful person? Is fear something that drives your decisions-the fear of going bankrupt, the fear of being alone, the fear of others knowing you deeply, the fear of not being liked or respected? What value do you place on vulnerability?
Anger. How was anger modeled for you as a child? How did losing your temper play out in your history? Does anger play an ongoing role in your own story today? How do you express disapproval today in your relationships?
Codependency. Do you have a history of being manipulated or controlled by someone in your past? Name three people in your life who showed you how to be healthy in your relationships and wise in your interactions with others.